At 2:09 am, Josh felt Finley kick for the first time.
:)
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
20 weeks and 5 days
Everything has been pretty awesome health wise.
Knock on wood.
My sleeping patterns were disturbed when Payton had a reaction to her chicken pox vaccine. It was super hard to sleep because I made her sleep with me, and every movement she made I was checking on her.
Nothing like a 104.7 fever and rapid breathing to make you feel fully unrested.
Today I'm exhausted. I went to bed at midnight and woke up at 1pm.
And honestly? My big body is telling me to go back to bed. I'm so exhausted.
We'll see how the next few days play out. Hoping this awesome streak continues!
Knock on wood.
My sleeping patterns were disturbed when Payton had a reaction to her chicken pox vaccine. It was super hard to sleep because I made her sleep with me, and every movement she made I was checking on her.
Nothing like a 104.7 fever and rapid breathing to make you feel fully unrested.
Today I'm exhausted. I went to bed at midnight and woke up at 1pm.
And honestly? My big body is telling me to go back to bed. I'm so exhausted.
We'll see how the next few days play out. Hoping this awesome streak continues!
Friday, February 4, 2011
20 weeks
Well, 10 minutes til' 20 weeks that is :)
I'd write that I'm "halfway there", but that was last week. I'll be delievering at 39 weeks, so I like to feel technical about the whole situation.
I had a few days with migraines (not sure if I wrote about it). Apparently I have "aura migraines" once again. I had them with Payton.
These migraines generally start about a half an hour prior to the migraine itself and triggers unusual symptoms. My jaw goes numb, I get anxiety, I get these feelings in my head that something is crawling in the back of it. Sometimes it feels like a rubber band is snapping the back of my head.
Then I see spots and zig zag lines. It looks like Disney's Electric Lights Parade...
except with more anxiety and less thrilling.
Then BAM. Full on head bloated migraine. I feel like someone took a basketball pump and inserted it into my head and started pumping. The pressure is so intense I feel like if I actually have an anyuerism, I'd be doing myself some good.
Thankfully this only lasted 2 days this time, and not near as serious as last time.
I woke up today and my stomach has already doubled in size from last week. I put on a jacket today that I had on less than 8 days ago, and the damn thing won't zip. My stomach is huge - HUGE. Next ultrasound I'm not leaving until they find the other 2 stow aways in there.
The first day I felt strong kicks, I only felt it about 2-4 times. The next day I woke up, and it was like an f'ing gymnast was taking refuge in there; all day and all night.
Today is no exception. I literally feel kicks all day long. I'm convinced this baby never sleeps.
It's weird that I'm only 5 months, because this one is going so much faster 'symptom' wise. Everything is happening earlier. It's going to make a real miserable 4 more months.
I also have been having my rage come back. When I left my last job it was like Rikki Lake pre weight loss had been lifted from my shoulders. That place gave me nothing but rage.
Now I find myself feeling my hormones surge. Today I was taking a nap and big stupid Josh walks in the bedroom, flips the light on, makes as much noise as he can and then starts talking to the dogs as if they were 96 and hard of hearing.
I came up off that bed like a psychiatric ward patient. I'm ALWAYS quiet when he's asleep (even leaving to make sure we're not loud) but nooooo, not his big stupid hairy body.
Then stupid me deposits my tax check into his bank account to avoid getting money taken away from my bankruptcy.
Stupid him refuses to give me his debit card and it's irritating me. He's walking around Seymour like he's sitting on a million dollars.
I guess it's better that I hate him at 5 months along this time around. Last time around I hated him from the moment my pregnancy test read positive.
Please pray he makes it through this alive.
I'd write that I'm "halfway there", but that was last week. I'll be delievering at 39 weeks, so I like to feel technical about the whole situation.
I had a few days with migraines (not sure if I wrote about it). Apparently I have "aura migraines" once again. I had them with Payton.
These migraines generally start about a half an hour prior to the migraine itself and triggers unusual symptoms. My jaw goes numb, I get anxiety, I get these feelings in my head that something is crawling in the back of it. Sometimes it feels like a rubber band is snapping the back of my head.
Then I see spots and zig zag lines. It looks like Disney's Electric Lights Parade...
except with more anxiety and less thrilling.
Then BAM. Full on head bloated migraine. I feel like someone took a basketball pump and inserted it into my head and started pumping. The pressure is so intense I feel like if I actually have an anyuerism, I'd be doing myself some good.
Thankfully this only lasted 2 days this time, and not near as serious as last time.
I woke up today and my stomach has already doubled in size from last week. I put on a jacket today that I had on less than 8 days ago, and the damn thing won't zip. My stomach is huge - HUGE. Next ultrasound I'm not leaving until they find the other 2 stow aways in there.
The first day I felt strong kicks, I only felt it about 2-4 times. The next day I woke up, and it was like an f'ing gymnast was taking refuge in there; all day and all night.
Today is no exception. I literally feel kicks all day long. I'm convinced this baby never sleeps.
It's weird that I'm only 5 months, because this one is going so much faster 'symptom' wise. Everything is happening earlier. It's going to make a real miserable 4 more months.
I also have been having my rage come back. When I left my last job it was like Rikki Lake pre weight loss had been lifted from my shoulders. That place gave me nothing but rage.
Now I find myself feeling my hormones surge. Today I was taking a nap and big stupid Josh walks in the bedroom, flips the light on, makes as much noise as he can and then starts talking to the dogs as if they were 96 and hard of hearing.
I came up off that bed like a psychiatric ward patient. I'm ALWAYS quiet when he's asleep (even leaving to make sure we're not loud) but nooooo, not his big stupid hairy body.
Then stupid me deposits my tax check into his bank account to avoid getting money taken away from my bankruptcy.
Stupid him refuses to give me his debit card and it's irritating me. He's walking around Seymour like he's sitting on a million dollars.
I guess it's better that I hate him at 5 months along this time around. Last time around I hated him from the moment my pregnancy test read positive.
Please pray he makes it through this alive.
19 weeks and 6 days
These maternity jeans really accentuate my front butt.
No seriously.
It's not all baby belly.
If you've had 4 surgeries on all sections of your stomach, you'd have nice, flabby, jiggly loose skin that pulls down and creates front butt.
Well that, and eating too much.
I'm starting to get super self concious and wish I knew how to preform my own abdominoplasty.
No seriously.
It's not all baby belly.
If you've had 4 surgeries on all sections of your stomach, you'd have nice, flabby, jiggly loose skin that pulls down and creates front butt.
Well that, and eating too much.
I'm starting to get super self concious and wish I knew how to preform my own abdominoplasty.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
19 weeks and 4 days
Today is the very first day we've felt kicks on the outside of my over stuffed lard filled belly.
Real kicks!
Real kicks!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
19 weeks
I'm cheating. I really should write 18 weeks and 6 days, but since it's after midnight...
:)
I'm plagued with a head cold. It's not bad and I don't feel miserable, I just have enough mucus to drown a submarine. I wake up in the morning and it's like a trombone blowing shots of yellow love into the kleenex.
And if that doesn't sound sexy enough, imagine me waking up and for the first half an hour of the day doing nothing but extracting big juicy yellow phglem/hockers from my throat.
Those suckers are huge!
Just wish it would find someone else to move along to, I'm tired of this early morning routine. It already takes me well into an hour to get myself going, I don't need something else (especially that disgusting) dragging me down.
So - I got my tax check! I'm pumped. I hate the fact that I know it's gone. I've got a few things I need to pay for (finish paying off my camera, the xbox and our floors) and then the rest is history.
I am going to let everyone in on a little secret - but if you know me you know I have no secrets or shame so I don't really give a shit unlike most who would try to hide it.
When I left my last job, I had still been going through drama with my medical bills. I had insurance, granted it wasn't good, but when the new insurance SHOULD have started (right when all of my gallbladder/GERD/IBS problems started) it didn't.
It wasn't my fault - it was my jobs fault. The same people who I had to call at least 10 times to tell them I ALWAYS get extra money taken out for federal taxes and they still never did anything about it.
I submitted my insurance forms, and I thought it was odd that I never had a new insurance card. I wound up calling the place and they had no record of me under their insurance. I couldn't enroll any longer because re-enrollment was up.
So I was completely ass fucked by my own job and there was absolutely nothing I could do. I went around and around with HR and it was done.
And I don't know if any of you don't have insurance and have had things like surgeries, blood work, etc through all of it - but it's expensive.
I'm talking like $60,000 expensive.
Of course I can't make the minimum payments of like $5495034903 dollars a month (do I look like Paris Hilton?) so I submitted minimal payments to them, but I guess that wasn't enough.
So to make a long story short, I'm into collections, and then finally a court hearing. I stopped paying period because I was pissed off. There was no way I was paying back 60 grand over this shit.
So now, I'm filing bankruptcy.
And do you know it costs $850 for a 5 minute hospital lab visit to have blood drawn?
I didn't either.
So the sheriff who showed up at my door (twice), Schneck Medical Center, my previous place of employment and the lady from HR who I'd like to beat to a pulp, can all kiss my fat, white, unmotivated ass.
Enough of that story, let me move on to something else that has been stressing me out:
Josh calls me last night and tells me he is being displaced. When I ask what the hell that means, he tells me that his shift at work is ending in 3 weeks (which has been a shift there for 15 years).
By seniority, they will place the people from his shift around other areas. If there aren't any jobs left after placing people, the ones that are left at the bottom are basically gone.
I asked Josh if he will still have a job and he says, "I believe so."
So that's never reassuring, especially since he is the bread winner of the house. If we didn't have his income we'd be living in the Silver House apartments behind KFC.
I guess there is a guy there who has been there for 13 years and he's #11 on seniority.
This is scaring me quite a bit.
Josh thinks he will have to go to the shift that works Tuesday-Friday from 4pm to 2am. I really loved his weekend shifts because during the week it was a team effort to take and pick up Payton from school.
Now I'm going to have to get her going to kindergarten with a newborn every morning.
And after I have this baby, I need to find a good job. I'm tired of living off of Josh and what I do on the side. It's ridiculous. So it's going to be really hard for us.
My mom is being displaced too and she has an office job there. Sadly, she can't do much physical labor so her being displaced probably means she needs to look for another job. She was weekend shift as well and watched Payton for us during the week when I worked or needed her. She was free of charge and the only person I trust.
Now I have no one :(
I have a really bad trust problem with day cares and sitters, and will never use one. There is no specific reason, other than I will never trust my child with anyone unless I know them 100% (family).
*sigh*
I just hope it all winds up working out.
Where's a donut when I need one?
:)
I'm plagued with a head cold. It's not bad and I don't feel miserable, I just have enough mucus to drown a submarine. I wake up in the morning and it's like a trombone blowing shots of yellow love into the kleenex.
And if that doesn't sound sexy enough, imagine me waking up and for the first half an hour of the day doing nothing but extracting big juicy yellow phglem/hockers from my throat.
Those suckers are huge!
Just wish it would find someone else to move along to, I'm tired of this early morning routine. It already takes me well into an hour to get myself going, I don't need something else (especially that disgusting) dragging me down.
So - I got my tax check! I'm pumped. I hate the fact that I know it's gone. I've got a few things I need to pay for (finish paying off my camera, the xbox and our floors) and then the rest is history.
I am going to let everyone in on a little secret - but if you know me you know I have no secrets or shame so I don't really give a shit unlike most who would try to hide it.
When I left my last job, I had still been going through drama with my medical bills. I had insurance, granted it wasn't good, but when the new insurance SHOULD have started (right when all of my gallbladder/GERD/IBS problems started) it didn't.
It wasn't my fault - it was my jobs fault. The same people who I had to call at least 10 times to tell them I ALWAYS get extra money taken out for federal taxes and they still never did anything about it.
I submitted my insurance forms, and I thought it was odd that I never had a new insurance card. I wound up calling the place and they had no record of me under their insurance. I couldn't enroll any longer because re-enrollment was up.
So I was completely ass fucked by my own job and there was absolutely nothing I could do. I went around and around with HR and it was done.
And I don't know if any of you don't have insurance and have had things like surgeries, blood work, etc through all of it - but it's expensive.
I'm talking like $60,000 expensive.
Of course I can't make the minimum payments of like $5495034903 dollars a month (do I look like Paris Hilton?) so I submitted minimal payments to them, but I guess that wasn't enough.
So to make a long story short, I'm into collections, and then finally a court hearing. I stopped paying period because I was pissed off. There was no way I was paying back 60 grand over this shit.
So now, I'm filing bankruptcy.
And do you know it costs $850 for a 5 minute hospital lab visit to have blood drawn?
I didn't either.
So the sheriff who showed up at my door (twice), Schneck Medical Center, my previous place of employment and the lady from HR who I'd like to beat to a pulp, can all kiss my fat, white, unmotivated ass.
Enough of that story, let me move on to something else that has been stressing me out:
Josh calls me last night and tells me he is being displaced. When I ask what the hell that means, he tells me that his shift at work is ending in 3 weeks (which has been a shift there for 15 years).
By seniority, they will place the people from his shift around other areas. If there aren't any jobs left after placing people, the ones that are left at the bottom are basically gone.
I asked Josh if he will still have a job and he says, "I believe so."
So that's never reassuring, especially since he is the bread winner of the house. If we didn't have his income we'd be living in the Silver House apartments behind KFC.
I guess there is a guy there who has been there for 13 years and he's #11 on seniority.
This is scaring me quite a bit.
Josh thinks he will have to go to the shift that works Tuesday-Friday from 4pm to 2am. I really loved his weekend shifts because during the week it was a team effort to take and pick up Payton from school.
Now I'm going to have to get her going to kindergarten with a newborn every morning.
And after I have this baby, I need to find a good job. I'm tired of living off of Josh and what I do on the side. It's ridiculous. So it's going to be really hard for us.
My mom is being displaced too and she has an office job there. Sadly, she can't do much physical labor so her being displaced probably means she needs to look for another job. She was weekend shift as well and watched Payton for us during the week when I worked or needed her. She was free of charge and the only person I trust.
Now I have no one :(
I have a really bad trust problem with day cares and sitters, and will never use one. There is no specific reason, other than I will never trust my child with anyone unless I know them 100% (family).
*sigh*
I just hope it all winds up working out.
Where's a donut when I need one?
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
18 weeks and 3 days
I've missed you blog!
I've been MIA for a few days due to an unbelievable pain in my ass -
and no we're not talking about Josh here.
Josh's wannabe Backstreet boyfriend, Brian, doesn't find it neccesary to shovel driveways, so I blame him for my ungraceful fall on the ice. (I'm not going on a limb and admitting it was probably the slutty boots I was wearing.)
The only thing that broke my fall, was my ass. Didn't have time to put my hands down or anything, I went right down on my tailbone.
Now, I'm not sure if any of you have ever bruised a tailbone or not, but sitting, standing, coughing, sneezing, moving in general fucking hurts.
And I'm not talking about whining just to be whining. I want to sleep for about 5 days to just let it pass because I don't want to be awake during it any longer.
My poor ass :(
Thankfully I had the smarts not to run right in to the ER and rack myself up a $394034590343 bill for someone to play with and xray my ass all night. I called the OB unit to have their advice on an ass falling situation; they told me if I didn't have any cramps, bleeding or lack of fetal movement I should be fine.
No cramps, no bleeding and Finley was definitely not happy about the fall because the butterflies in my stomach let me know - so the only thing affected was my ass (and ego).
I've been getting huge all of the sudden. Within the last week I swear I look like I'm 10 months pregnant. I've got the gestation of an Asian elephant apparently. This "bump" (mountain) came absolutely out of no where. I look as big now as I did at 9 months the first time...
but I'm sure it's not the excessive over eating, or fact that I already had a huge stomach in the first place :) Of course not.
The shopping process has begun, and already I'm spending in amounts I know I shouldn't be. It's so hard not to. I've got an addiction to ruining my credit so why not?
Last night Josh and I had a date night with Brooke and James and even afterwards we found time to shop. Even if Burlington Coat Factory closed in 20 minutes.
I tell you what, I always know that if I'm doing something with Brooke that I should wear a pad, or adult diaper. I have the BEST time with her - always. The fact that her and I are on the same level about so many things makes our days together like something from a comedy.
We went and ate at the Olive Garden last night. If the 45 minute drive to Clarksville wasn't satisfying enough in the laughter department (ie: openly embarrassing James and Josh, laughing about the past, etc.) then the meal definitely was.
This was the first time I've EVER been to the Olive Garden and didn't have to wait! I think our shortest wait time there has been maybe 45 minutes prior to last night. It's dead in there.
We get seated and our waiter takes forever to show up - which is awkward because even when we're elbow to elbow with other dining families, we never wait.
We get this man who looks like he could be a miniature mass murderer. (Which really if you look around, all of the males have mass murderer type of hair dos.) This guy had his ear cartlidge pierced and had his long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Let's not forget the hair gel he used to try to maintain the wet head look.
He introduces himself as Grahm and tells us he apologizes that it's so slammed in there. He's going on and on about how busy they are, etc.
He was not only a mini mass murderer, but a filthy fucking liar.
Off the bat he was terrified of us. I'm not sure if it was the fact we were big people eyeing him like he was holding the first piece of pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving, or the fact that I openly let Grahm know that Brooke's drinking used to be out of control and she got naked at Taco Bell. (Ok, so he walked into that conversation.)
Once he apologized for about the 9249304893453th time, he rattled off the menu for us (which we had obviously had enough time to read and figure out) and then asked what we'd like.
After ordering, he proceeds to grab the free standing dessert menu from the table. When we act like we have no interest in it, he throws it across the table - right in Brooke's direction.
Poor Grahm. I'm sure it wasn't easy being picked on by 4 large people with an appetite for humor.
But I guess I can't forget the fact that he always acted like he was too busy for us, maybe saw us 3 times, but was always super fly and seen at least a dozen times at a table with 2 big booty'ed black women.
For Grahm's sake, it was ok - we had a long car ride home filled with someone letting farts and not owning up to it (until Josh ripped the land mine and all windows had to be down at 20 degrees) and extreme laughter.
And this morning, at 9:30am, I'm dining on left over salad.
Damnit Grahm.
I've been MIA for a few days due to an unbelievable pain in my ass -
and no we're not talking about Josh here.
Josh's wannabe Backstreet boyfriend, Brian, doesn't find it neccesary to shovel driveways, so I blame him for my ungraceful fall on the ice. (I'm not going on a limb and admitting it was probably the slutty boots I was wearing.)
The only thing that broke my fall, was my ass. Didn't have time to put my hands down or anything, I went right down on my tailbone.
Now, I'm not sure if any of you have ever bruised a tailbone or not, but sitting, standing, coughing, sneezing, moving in general fucking hurts.
And I'm not talking about whining just to be whining. I want to sleep for about 5 days to just let it pass because I don't want to be awake during it any longer.
My poor ass :(
Thankfully I had the smarts not to run right in to the ER and rack myself up a $394034590343 bill for someone to play with and xray my ass all night. I called the OB unit to have their advice on an ass falling situation; they told me if I didn't have any cramps, bleeding or lack of fetal movement I should be fine.
No cramps, no bleeding and Finley was definitely not happy about the fall because the butterflies in my stomach let me know - so the only thing affected was my ass (and ego).
I've been getting huge all of the sudden. Within the last week I swear I look like I'm 10 months pregnant. I've got the gestation of an Asian elephant apparently. This "bump" (mountain) came absolutely out of no where. I look as big now as I did at 9 months the first time...
but I'm sure it's not the excessive over eating, or fact that I already had a huge stomach in the first place :) Of course not.
The shopping process has begun, and already I'm spending in amounts I know I shouldn't be. It's so hard not to. I've got an addiction to ruining my credit so why not?
Last night Josh and I had a date night with Brooke and James and even afterwards we found time to shop. Even if Burlington Coat Factory closed in 20 minutes.
I tell you what, I always know that if I'm doing something with Brooke that I should wear a pad, or adult diaper. I have the BEST time with her - always. The fact that her and I are on the same level about so many things makes our days together like something from a comedy.
We went and ate at the Olive Garden last night. If the 45 minute drive to Clarksville wasn't satisfying enough in the laughter department (ie: openly embarrassing James and Josh, laughing about the past, etc.) then the meal definitely was.
This was the first time I've EVER been to the Olive Garden and didn't have to wait! I think our shortest wait time there has been maybe 45 minutes prior to last night. It's dead in there.
We get seated and our waiter takes forever to show up - which is awkward because even when we're elbow to elbow with other dining families, we never wait.
We get this man who looks like he could be a miniature mass murderer. (Which really if you look around, all of the males have mass murderer type of hair dos.) This guy had his ear cartlidge pierced and had his long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Let's not forget the hair gel he used to try to maintain the wet head look.
He introduces himself as Grahm and tells us he apologizes that it's so slammed in there. He's going on and on about how busy they are, etc.
He was not only a mini mass murderer, but a filthy fucking liar.
Off the bat he was terrified of us. I'm not sure if it was the fact we were big people eyeing him like he was holding the first piece of pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving, or the fact that I openly let Grahm know that Brooke's drinking used to be out of control and she got naked at Taco Bell. (Ok, so he walked into that conversation.)
Once he apologized for about the 9249304893453th time, he rattled off the menu for us (which we had obviously had enough time to read and figure out) and then asked what we'd like.
After ordering, he proceeds to grab the free standing dessert menu from the table. When we act like we have no interest in it, he throws it across the table - right in Brooke's direction.
Poor Grahm. I'm sure it wasn't easy being picked on by 4 large people with an appetite for humor.
But I guess I can't forget the fact that he always acted like he was too busy for us, maybe saw us 3 times, but was always super fly and seen at least a dozen times at a table with 2 big booty'ed black women.
For Grahm's sake, it was ok - we had a long car ride home filled with someone letting farts and not owning up to it (until Josh ripped the land mine and all windows had to be down at 20 degrees) and extreme laughter.
And this morning, at 9:30am, I'm dining on left over salad.
Damnit Grahm.
Friday, January 21, 2011
17 weeks and 6 days
I guess I can call what I'm going through today "snow lag". Looking outside to the almost 5" of snow piled on our road/driveway makes for me to be super, super unmotivated.
I'm starting to feel like a horrible mother. Poor Payton was left to play all alone most of the day today. She kept herself busy while I kept zoning in and out of conciousness on the couch. I could not get myself to get up. I feel so exhausted already that I can hardly wait to see what the 3rd trimester has in store for me.
Sarcasm.
Payton was absolutely excellent today given the fact her mother looked like she was coming down off of a 20 day drinking binge.
Tomorrow I'm 18 weeks. During my first pregnancy, at 18 weeks is when I had to have my giant surgery. The scars left on my belly are just half of the reminder of how scary that entire situation was.
Here I was, 20 years old and had never had surgery in my life. Dr. Fish told me I didn't have an option to 'opt out' of surgery, but that it was a must.
I remember crying in the little room and he asked Josh and I to follow him to his office where he sat for a good half an hour talking to me about everything.
I told you he was a great, great man. I'm not sure I really know any other doctors that would sit with you as long as you needed and not be concerned about the next patient until I was finished.
Having Payton has a reminder as to what he did for me is something I can't explain. The surgery lasted for nearly 6 hours, and the cyst they removed was larger than the size of my head.
My big, fat, double chinned jiggly head.
I begged to be kept awake during surgery because I was so terrified, and I wanted to know what was going on. He finally agreed.
As they removed that big swollen fleshy balloon of cysty goodness, they asked if I wanted to look at it.
"No."
I was VERY strict on my answer.
Dr. Fish tells me to look over and there it is laying on a big silver platter.
Like a Thanksgiving turkey ready to be sliced open; except fleshy, and veiny and...
You know, here's a great visual:
I'm starting to feel like a horrible mother. Poor Payton was left to play all alone most of the day today. She kept herself busy while I kept zoning in and out of conciousness on the couch. I could not get myself to get up. I feel so exhausted already that I can hardly wait to see what the 3rd trimester has in store for me.
Sarcasm.
Payton was absolutely excellent today given the fact her mother looked like she was coming down off of a 20 day drinking binge.
Tomorrow I'm 18 weeks. During my first pregnancy, at 18 weeks is when I had to have my giant surgery. The scars left on my belly are just half of the reminder of how scary that entire situation was.
Here I was, 20 years old and had never had surgery in my life. Dr. Fish told me I didn't have an option to 'opt out' of surgery, but that it was a must.
I remember crying in the little room and he asked Josh and I to follow him to his office where he sat for a good half an hour talking to me about everything.
I told you he was a great, great man. I'm not sure I really know any other doctors that would sit with you as long as you needed and not be concerned about the next patient until I was finished.
Having Payton has a reminder as to what he did for me is something I can't explain. The surgery lasted for nearly 6 hours, and the cyst they removed was larger than the size of my head.
My big, fat, double chinned jiggly head.
I begged to be kept awake during surgery because I was so terrified, and I wanted to know what was going on. He finally agreed.
As they removed that big swollen fleshy balloon of cysty goodness, they asked if I wanted to look at it.
"No."
I was VERY strict on my answer.
Dr. Fish tells me to look over and there it is laying on a big silver platter.
Like a Thanksgiving turkey ready to be sliced open; except fleshy, and veiny and...
You know, here's a great visual:
Is that seriously not the yummiest thing you've ever seen in your life?
That's Payton's "cyst-er" coming out during surgery.
The risks of surgery were high, but the risks of complications - even death - from not removing it were more than sky rocketing. It had to go.
So here I sit 5 years later with a gorgeous little girl, a 13" vertical belly scar and once again 18 weeks pregnant.
I'm just glad to be delivering one this time.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
17 weeks and 5 days
I guess I'm tired of hearing myself complain about never pooping, so I'll steer away from that topic this time around. I apologize to you who have weak stomachs and have to picture my morbidly obese self in that position.
Today is such a shit day. I look outside and I'm blinded; where did this snow come from?!
I'm not exactly motivated to run and made plus size snow angels outside, so I try to keep Payton occupied indoors with crafts, movies, exercise (I sit on the couch and tell her what to do), games, etc.
Do you know how long that lasts? We're pushing the second month of this stuff, and what I can come up with is only good for a weeks worth of cold days.
She is constantly telling me, "I'm bored" or "is there anything else we can do?".
No damnit, there is not. My exhausted pregnant body just cannot physically meet this demanding winter schedule. It's driving me insane.
So listen here mother nature, here's my middle finger to you ... and they're BOTH raised. Spring better jump in quick because I'm on the verge of a debt filled drive to Florida.
Without pooping.
:| Sorry.
The last week has been filled with me complaining about lack of sleep as well. I don't know if it's my bed, my floppy body or what; but I cannot get to sleep at night. The toss and turn of the lard from side to side always 'un' makes my bed. I wake up tangled in fitted sheets and comforters.
Last night was different. I found myself falling asleep on the couch, so in slow awkward fashion, I made my way to the bedroom.
When I hopped in, I was out like a light.
Like a shorted out, non-working light.
I didn't wake up for another 8 hours. My bladder was on the verge of popping at the seams, so I'm glad I found a little bit of motivation to run.
After I stumbled into the living room, I found myself on the couch, where Josh let me sleep for another 2 hours.
Life is good today.
:)
One final detail, last night I had cloudy pee. Being a hypercontriact, I google'd that shit.
"Too much sugar intake, not enough water, STDs..."
STDS?! When I read that out loud I looked over to Josh, who laughed.
I guess my water intake had been lacking, because filled with terror, I drank 3 large glasses of water in a row.
Only to piss 5 times...
and 5 very clear times may I add.
Today is such a shit day. I look outside and I'm blinded; where did this snow come from?!
I'm not exactly motivated to run and made plus size snow angels outside, so I try to keep Payton occupied indoors with crafts, movies, exercise (I sit on the couch and tell her what to do), games, etc.
Do you know how long that lasts? We're pushing the second month of this stuff, and what I can come up with is only good for a weeks worth of cold days.
She is constantly telling me, "I'm bored" or "is there anything else we can do?".
No damnit, there is not. My exhausted pregnant body just cannot physically meet this demanding winter schedule. It's driving me insane.
So listen here mother nature, here's my middle finger to you ... and they're BOTH raised. Spring better jump in quick because I'm on the verge of a debt filled drive to Florida.
Without pooping.
:| Sorry.
The last week has been filled with me complaining about lack of sleep as well. I don't know if it's my bed, my floppy body or what; but I cannot get to sleep at night. The toss and turn of the lard from side to side always 'un' makes my bed. I wake up tangled in fitted sheets and comforters.
Last night was different. I found myself falling asleep on the couch, so in slow awkward fashion, I made my way to the bedroom.
When I hopped in, I was out like a light.
Like a shorted out, non-working light.
I didn't wake up for another 8 hours. My bladder was on the verge of popping at the seams, so I'm glad I found a little bit of motivation to run.
After I stumbled into the living room, I found myself on the couch, where Josh let me sleep for another 2 hours.
Life is good today.
:)
One final detail, last night I had cloudy pee. Being a hypercontriact, I google'd that shit.
"Too much sugar intake, not enough water, STDs..."
STDS?! When I read that out loud I looked over to Josh, who laughed.
I guess my water intake had been lacking, because filled with terror, I drank 3 large glasses of water in a row.
Only to piss 5 times...
and 5 very clear times may I add.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
17 weeks and 4 days
I've pooped once.
Once.
Once in like 5 days - and honestly it wasn't anything to brag about.
I even requested that I go to greasy, nasty, feeding troth Ryan's to eat a buffet in order to try to make my bowels work.
Nothing.
No fiber, prune juice or extra water is helping this.
I'm ready to shit a log.
Is that so much to ask?
Once.
Once in like 5 days - and honestly it wasn't anything to brag about.
I even requested that I go to greasy, nasty, feeding troth Ryan's to eat a buffet in order to try to make my bowels work.
Nothing.
No fiber, prune juice or extra water is helping this.
I'm ready to shit a log.
Is that so much to ask?
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
17 weeks and 3 days (part 2)
Did I mention to everyone that Finley will be here the morning of June 20th?
I guess there was something good that came from having a previous c-section - no labor this time!
Next week we're officially converting the catch all/office/playroom into the nursery. I'm so excited. It's about time that that room has an official title.
We agreed that after we found out the sex, we'd work on getting it started. This is going to involve painting, planning and purchasing; the 3 p's.
Payton has always had super girly rooms. Her room at our old house was gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. I took a really long time planning it out.
It had chair railing (white), the top half was painted a pastel pink and the bottom was a light purple with seafoam green stripes. The ceiling was blue with white clouds. It was gorgeous.
Here's a photo of the bottom portion of the room:
(Under construction)
So for Finley, I want something that is in the complete opposite direction.
I know I want to paint the room the same color that's in a majority of our house (a tan/khaki color). I want her colors to be like a dark latte (think a little darker than a cup of latte - in the medium tan category) and a spa blue (not aqua, but an elegeant shiney 'darker-than-aqua' blue).
I'm branching out and making her bedding. I can't wait to start and never finish that process!
I suppose I'll update as the process begins :)
I guess there was something good that came from having a previous c-section - no labor this time!
Next week we're officially converting the catch all/office/playroom into the nursery. I'm so excited. It's about time that that room has an official title.
We agreed that after we found out the sex, we'd work on getting it started. This is going to involve painting, planning and purchasing; the 3 p's.
Payton has always had super girly rooms. Her room at our old house was gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. I took a really long time planning it out.
It had chair railing (white), the top half was painted a pastel pink and the bottom was a light purple with seafoam green stripes. The ceiling was blue with white clouds. It was gorgeous.
Here's a photo of the bottom portion of the room:
It was super cute.
When we moved to this house, she got a girly light pink princess room (it was ghetto) which eventually turned into this:
So for Finley, I want something that is in the complete opposite direction.
I know I want to paint the room the same color that's in a majority of our house (a tan/khaki color). I want her colors to be like a dark latte (think a little darker than a cup of latte - in the medium tan category) and a spa blue (not aqua, but an elegeant shiney 'darker-than-aqua' blue).
I'm branching out and making her bedding. I can't wait to start and never finish that process!
I suppose I'll update as the process begins :)
Monday, January 17, 2011
17 weeks and 2 days
Well, the verdict is in:
It's a girl!
Yeah, so, I'm not going to lie. When the announcement of 'girl' came through, I felt a little bummed out. I guess it's human nature to get yourself worked up over something you're really hopeful of and feel a little disappointment.
Don't get me wrong, this little girl is going to be just as loved/spoiled/rotten as Payton is - I was just really, really hoping for a little boy.
However, all was made quickly better when my doc told me everything was absolutely healthy.
Not to mention the fact I haven't seen my doc since Payt was born, and he welcomed me back with open arms, a few good jokes at my last pregnancy's expense and called me 'old buddy'.
Plus, he's super good looking.
:)
There's just something about Dr. F that I absolutely love. He is the way a doctor should be. He comes so highly recommended and I wish everyone had a chance to have their vaginas inspected by him. My vagina has never been in better hands.
Literally haha.
So with a new baby comes a new name. We're definitely set on Finley, but the middle name is hard to come across. I understand that basically everyone I know has kids and crossing a middle name is going to probably be something that has to be done, but I don't want to feel like a thief.
I love Finley Jaide, Finley Paige, Finley Madison and Finley Madelyn.
But for each of those middle names, I know at LEAST 2 little girls with them. (Except Madelyn, in which I only know 1 little girl with that middle name.)
The search continues, but I'm sure we'll settle on 1 of those names. Josh and I are super drawn to Jaide and Madison. So we'll see.
So Finley (how cute is that? love calling her by name!) was suuuuuuper stubborn at the ultrasound. The tech had about 30 minutes with us just because she refused to turn around. She would bounce all over that fluid filled floating pillow she was in and just not do anything. She wouldn't give us a face shot, wouldn't flip back around and wouldn't do a damn thing anyone wanted her to do.
Except show her vagina.
If this is any inkling into what she's going to be like when she's here, Josh better be scared LOL.
When the tech announced it was a girl, Josh's face was terrified. I could see a hint of being bummed, but it was quickly replaced with fear. He knows what he's in for. Payton already bosses him and he knows it's going to be twice the trouble now.
I also wanted to discuss my bowels with you.
Random.
I just want you all to know exactly how constipated I've been. This will really put a shock factor in (especially for Brooke who knows how the cookie crumbles after this scenario).
I ate Chinese today. A lot of Chinese at that. Besides the Chinese waitress sitting next to us slurping her fish head soup, everything else was beautiful.
Now when I eat Chinese, I have exactly 3 minutes to get to my house or 1 minute to get to JC Penneys. I can always tell by the dropping sensation which it's going to be, but it NEVER exceeds 3 minutes before I'm shitting my pants.
And lots of shitting.
I haven't shit in 2 days, and after I ate Chinese today, I walked around JC Penneys, went to Walmart and took a nap.
I ate Chinese at 2pm. It's 1:09am right now and I have still yet to shit.
My back is really hurting every night and I know it's because I need to poop. So I go to strain for awhile, only to produce a piece of brown shredded cheese or a deer pellet. It's ridiculous. I am known for my bowels. Josh is amazed. His words?
"I don't know how you can go from shitting 14 times a day to 4 times in 14 days."
I guess I need to heavy up on the pruce juice because once I go, it's going to be terrifying.
I'll get the chills, start sweating, have horrible stomach pains and just go to town.
And I may even post a picture.
;)
It's a girl!
Yeah, so, I'm not going to lie. When the announcement of 'girl' came through, I felt a little bummed out. I guess it's human nature to get yourself worked up over something you're really hopeful of and feel a little disappointment.
Don't get me wrong, this little girl is going to be just as loved/spoiled/rotten as Payton is - I was just really, really hoping for a little boy.
However, all was made quickly better when my doc told me everything was absolutely healthy.
Not to mention the fact I haven't seen my doc since Payt was born, and he welcomed me back with open arms, a few good jokes at my last pregnancy's expense and called me 'old buddy'.
Plus, he's super good looking.
:)
There's just something about Dr. F that I absolutely love. He is the way a doctor should be. He comes so highly recommended and I wish everyone had a chance to have their vaginas inspected by him. My vagina has never been in better hands.
Literally haha.
So with a new baby comes a new name. We're definitely set on Finley, but the middle name is hard to come across. I understand that basically everyone I know has kids and crossing a middle name is going to probably be something that has to be done, but I don't want to feel like a thief.
I love Finley Jaide, Finley Paige, Finley Madison and Finley Madelyn.
But for each of those middle names, I know at LEAST 2 little girls with them. (Except Madelyn, in which I only know 1 little girl with that middle name.)
The search continues, but I'm sure we'll settle on 1 of those names. Josh and I are super drawn to Jaide and Madison. So we'll see.
So Finley (how cute is that? love calling her by name!) was suuuuuuper stubborn at the ultrasound. The tech had about 30 minutes with us just because she refused to turn around. She would bounce all over that fluid filled floating pillow she was in and just not do anything. She wouldn't give us a face shot, wouldn't flip back around and wouldn't do a damn thing anyone wanted her to do.
Except show her vagina.
If this is any inkling into what she's going to be like when she's here, Josh better be scared LOL.
When the tech announced it was a girl, Josh's face was terrified. I could see a hint of being bummed, but it was quickly replaced with fear. He knows what he's in for. Payton already bosses him and he knows it's going to be twice the trouble now.
I also wanted to discuss my bowels with you.
Random.
I just want you all to know exactly how constipated I've been. This will really put a shock factor in (especially for Brooke who knows how the cookie crumbles after this scenario).
I ate Chinese today. A lot of Chinese at that. Besides the Chinese waitress sitting next to us slurping her fish head soup, everything else was beautiful.
Now when I eat Chinese, I have exactly 3 minutes to get to my house or 1 minute to get to JC Penneys. I can always tell by the dropping sensation which it's going to be, but it NEVER exceeds 3 minutes before I'm shitting my pants.
And lots of shitting.
I haven't shit in 2 days, and after I ate Chinese today, I walked around JC Penneys, went to Walmart and took a nap.
I ate Chinese at 2pm. It's 1:09am right now and I have still yet to shit.
My back is really hurting every night and I know it's because I need to poop. So I go to strain for awhile, only to produce a piece of brown shredded cheese or a deer pellet. It's ridiculous. I am known for my bowels. Josh is amazed. His words?
"I don't know how you can go from shitting 14 times a day to 4 times in 14 days."
I guess I need to heavy up on the pruce juice because once I go, it's going to be terrifying.
I'll get the chills, start sweating, have horrible stomach pains and just go to town.
And I may even post a picture.
;)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
17 weeks and 1 day
I didn't get a chance to post yesterday. Josh was basically on Xbox Live all day long which made it hard for me to get some time to blog. For whatever reason when he's logged onto Live, I can't get online or it kicks him off of his beloved game a bunch.
Wah.
I guess I could post quickly because frankly, when I post, it's like I'm talking to myself. I sit down and the very first thing that comes to my head is generally what starts off my blogging conversations to myself. I get into it. I even answer myself. If you watch me type I smile, smirk, shrug my shoulders and raise my eyebrows.
I'm a borederline mental case when it comes to blogging.
Nothing out of the ordinary yesterday though. I got a ton of kitchen cleaning done. I started bleaching the walls by the trash can, bleaching out the fridge and cleaning out the pantry. My kitchen is spotless.
Until this morning when I woke up and f'ing figures, Josh had the syrup out, the toaster still out, a dirty waffley plate and fork out and dirty dishes that weren't even sprayed off.
I wanted to suffocate him in a syrup bathtub.
But - I cleaned it up.
You could call it nesting, but I call it stay at home mom boredum.
Guess what tomorrow is???
THE BIG DAY!
I've been waiting for this moment since I found out I was pregnant. I couldn't be more excited. The money signs are floating around in my head and I've been scouring the internet for good deals.
Are you as excited as I am?
Probably not, but do me a favor and pretend you are.
:)
Wah.
I guess I could post quickly because frankly, when I post, it's like I'm talking to myself. I sit down and the very first thing that comes to my head is generally what starts off my blogging conversations to myself. I get into it. I even answer myself. If you watch me type I smile, smirk, shrug my shoulders and raise my eyebrows.
I'm a borederline mental case when it comes to blogging.
Nothing out of the ordinary yesterday though. I got a ton of kitchen cleaning done. I started bleaching the walls by the trash can, bleaching out the fridge and cleaning out the pantry. My kitchen is spotless.
Until this morning when I woke up and f'ing figures, Josh had the syrup out, the toaster still out, a dirty waffley plate and fork out and dirty dishes that weren't even sprayed off.
I wanted to suffocate him in a syrup bathtub.
But - I cleaned it up.
You could call it nesting, but I call it stay at home mom boredum.
Guess what tomorrow is???
THE BIG DAY!
I've been waiting for this moment since I found out I was pregnant. I couldn't be more excited. The money signs are floating around in my head and I've been scouring the internet for good deals.
Are you as excited as I am?
Probably not, but do me a favor and pretend you are.
:)
Friday, January 14, 2011
16 weeks and 6 days
What am I gonna do with all this bump, all this bump up in my front?
Guess head to the maternity section at Burlington Coat Factory.
Out of no where it came like a beast. I've always had a gut, so actually seeing it protrude without the aide of a buffet or a few large meals was cool.
Now I have an excuse not to suck it in.
I've even parted ways with my girdle for the time being. I miss the feeling of my fat rolls being on lock down. When I danced or walked - there was no jelly to this belly. It was all large firmness of girdle-ing greatness.
One thing that really aggrivates me and aggrivated me a lot with Payton is; my face swelling.
With Payt it didn't swell well into the third trimester. My nose became extra wide and the pores on it started to grow larger, my double chin extended to my navel area, my cheeks rose into my eyeballs. I hated it.
Now I'm pushing 17 weeks and I can already tell my face is on the expand. I can see my cheeks when I'm just sitting there watching TV and I hate it.
Not that I haven't always had a huge face my whole life (I have.) - but this brings a whole new level of horrible self confidence. I'm already getting to that point where I'm in pajamas all the time, praying I don't have to leave the house for anything. I don't want to be seen, I'm not comfortable in my skin and I want to call a plastic surgeon and cry.
It's too bad I didn't have 8 kids at once, I heard cosmetic surgery comes cheap to those who can reproduce like a great dane.
Guess head to the maternity section at Burlington Coat Factory.
Out of no where it came like a beast. I've always had a gut, so actually seeing it protrude without the aide of a buffet or a few large meals was cool.
Now I have an excuse not to suck it in.
I've even parted ways with my girdle for the time being. I miss the feeling of my fat rolls being on lock down. When I danced or walked - there was no jelly to this belly. It was all large firmness of girdle-ing greatness.
One thing that really aggrivates me and aggrivated me a lot with Payton is; my face swelling.
With Payt it didn't swell well into the third trimester. My nose became extra wide and the pores on it started to grow larger, my double chin extended to my navel area, my cheeks rose into my eyeballs. I hated it.
Now I'm pushing 17 weeks and I can already tell my face is on the expand. I can see my cheeks when I'm just sitting there watching TV and I hate it.
Not that I haven't always had a huge face my whole life (I have.) - but this brings a whole new level of horrible self confidence. I'm already getting to that point where I'm in pajamas all the time, praying I don't have to leave the house for anything. I don't want to be seen, I'm not comfortable in my skin and I want to call a plastic surgeon and cry.
It's too bad I didn't have 8 kids at once, I heard cosmetic surgery comes cheap to those who can reproduce like a great dane.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
16 weeks and 4 days
The countdown is on: 5 days. I feel like a 6 year old waiting for Santa Claus to bring a new bike; except older, heavier and bitchier.
:)
Today was the most unproductive day of my adult life.
I swear.
I woke up at 9am only to go directly to the couch. I stayed there until a little after 4pm when I decided I let Josh do enough chores and cooking and it was my turn.
Wasn't I being so nice?
I'm realizing a lot of things are different with this pregnancy than the last. This time around the morning sickness was severe, while with Payton it was non existant.
With this baby I cannot get comfortable in bed and had a long couple of weeks of insomnia; with Payton I could have slept for 9 months and been fine.
The big one is with Payton, when I walked into the Chinese joint I would literally make a bee-line for the bathroom and puke my guts out. I hated the smell of Chinese when I was pregnant.
And if any of you take a glimpse into my Facebook, you know that's not the norm for me. I could float in a bath tub of lo mein.
This time around I can handle chinese, it's the smell of meat cooking that sets my bullemic reactions into over drive.
I tried cooking hamburger on the Foreman tonight and couldn't even get near it. It smelled like football socks and fat lady girdles. (Trust me, I own one. After a few nights out on the town and no washing, it gets crusty.)
I guess I'll let the meat man handle the meat from now on.
Or I could get used to the puking and turn it into my diet routine.
I've got to cut this short, I have a 4 year old who won't stop complaining and brownies that need to come out of the oven...
And all of you little minnions don't compare to that chocolately goodness.
:)
Today was the most unproductive day of my adult life.
I swear.
I woke up at 9am only to go directly to the couch. I stayed there until a little after 4pm when I decided I let Josh do enough chores and cooking and it was my turn.
Wasn't I being so nice?
I'm realizing a lot of things are different with this pregnancy than the last. This time around the morning sickness was severe, while with Payton it was non existant.
With this baby I cannot get comfortable in bed and had a long couple of weeks of insomnia; with Payton I could have slept for 9 months and been fine.
The big one is with Payton, when I walked into the Chinese joint I would literally make a bee-line for the bathroom and puke my guts out. I hated the smell of Chinese when I was pregnant.
And if any of you take a glimpse into my Facebook, you know that's not the norm for me. I could float in a bath tub of lo mein.
This time around I can handle chinese, it's the smell of meat cooking that sets my bullemic reactions into over drive.
I tried cooking hamburger on the Foreman tonight and couldn't even get near it. It smelled like football socks and fat lady girdles. (Trust me, I own one. After a few nights out on the town and no washing, it gets crusty.)
I guess I'll let the meat man handle the meat from now on.
Or I could get used to the puking and turn it into my diet routine.
I've got to cut this short, I have a 4 year old who won't stop complaining and brownies that need to come out of the oven...
And all of you little minnions don't compare to that chocolately goodness.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Boy Nursery Ideas
I hate snow.
But today, it let Josh and I sit down and start conjuring up ideas for the house; more excitingly, the nursery.
We're 100% hoping for a fetus with a penis, but like I said previously, are not getting our hopes up. Plus this baby is nearly a miracle baby, so we'll be happy with either gender.
Just really, really want a boy :|
Anyway.
Here are some of the ideas we came up with for the nursery if it's a boy. Stay with me, because yes, we'll be doing camoflauge. But hopefully, it'll be well within good taste.
I wanted to do a 'manly' room with a slightly whimsical feel. So here are my ideas.
** The walls will be colored a suede light tan.
** I want a matching dresser, crib and changing table (with drawers) in the color: Espresso
** For the dresser and changing table, we will pull off the handles and put 'antler' handles.
** At Bass Pro shops, there are deer and moose heads that are plush. I want to find pieces of wood to 'mount' them to and put them up.
** We already have the camo curtains we made for the bedroom on a tree limb to hang.
** My great grandpa carves guns out of cedar, and I want to ask him to make me 3 and put up a 'gun rack' in one corner of the nursery. Hopefully he'll carve the names we chose (yes, all damn 3 of them) for the little guy.
** Bass Pro also has kitchen cannisters that look like shot gun shells. They're a lot cuter than they sound. Would like to put these on the dresser and put items in there like; the thermometer, lotions, etc etc.
** Of course a few pictures of mom, dad and Payton in camo. I'd say pics of Josh and his deer, but he never seems to kill one worth having a picture of haha
** Would also like to do some photos of Hunter, Duke and Remington (all of the labs we have had).
I need to figure out something else for the wall with the crib against it. Of course if it's a girl we will have the name up there in fancy wood letters, but I want to do something unique for the boy.
Maybe 3 shadow frames with 3 different articles of hunting clothing in it?
Not sure. Ideas would be greatly appreciated!
But today, it let Josh and I sit down and start conjuring up ideas for the house; more excitingly, the nursery.
We're 100% hoping for a fetus with a penis, but like I said previously, are not getting our hopes up. Plus this baby is nearly a miracle baby, so we'll be happy with either gender.
Just really, really want a boy :|
Anyway.
Here are some of the ideas we came up with for the nursery if it's a boy. Stay with me, because yes, we'll be doing camoflauge. But hopefully, it'll be well within good taste.
I wanted to do a 'manly' room with a slightly whimsical feel. So here are my ideas.
** The walls will be colored a suede light tan.
** I want a matching dresser, crib and changing table (with drawers) in the color: Espresso
** For the dresser and changing table, we will pull off the handles and put 'antler' handles.
** At Bass Pro shops, there are deer and moose heads that are plush. I want to find pieces of wood to 'mount' them to and put them up.
** We already have the camo curtains we made for the bedroom on a tree limb to hang.
** My great grandpa carves guns out of cedar, and I want to ask him to make me 3 and put up a 'gun rack' in one corner of the nursery. Hopefully he'll carve the names we chose (yes, all damn 3 of them) for the little guy.
** Bass Pro also has kitchen cannisters that look like shot gun shells. They're a lot cuter than they sound. Would like to put these on the dresser and put items in there like; the thermometer, lotions, etc etc.
** Of course a few pictures of mom, dad and Payton in camo. I'd say pics of Josh and his deer, but he never seems to kill one worth having a picture of haha
** Would also like to do some photos of Hunter, Duke and Remington (all of the labs we have had).
I need to figure out something else for the wall with the crib against it. Of course if it's a girl we will have the name up there in fancy wood letters, but I want to do something unique for the boy.
Maybe 3 shadow frames with 3 different articles of hunting clothing in it?
Not sure. Ideas would be greatly appreciated!
16 weeks and 3 days
First of all (direct quote from Deena on Jersey Shore): I'm not sure where this bout of nose acne has came from. I've never really had facial acne at all. Of all the shitty things I have going on on my face (double chin, turkey neck, facial hair, eyebrows that grow down to my eyelids, etc) I was blessed with no acne.
Well, that's not so true anymore. From about 10 weeks on, I've been getting huge white heads on my nose here and there. They're more hysterical than anything, because I literally don't have a single zit anywhere else.
One day I woke up and had 3 right in a row. It looked like Orion's belt standing out in a galaxy of celestial black heads.
Today I woke up and thought I had something hanging from my nose. I kept wiping it away because when I looked down, it looked like white fuzz.
That's when I noticed it started to hurt when I wiped.
I got my just woke up self positioned in front of the mirror (it takes a few moments to work up the courage to see what I'm working with upon waking) and BAM. The largest white head I've ever seen in my life.
Don't believe me?
Isn't she a beaut?
Seriously, I laughed hysterically and then wanted to cry. My entire nose was being sucked in my thise moutainous white head.
I put my hand over my nose and walked over to Josh, who of course, was sitting on the BBC playing Xbox.
"If I show you this, you cannot laugh."
"Of course I won't what is it?"
The unveiling led to laughter in octives I didn't know Josh could hit. He told me not to wince, frown or scruntch my nose because he didn't want to get squirted.
Feeling embarrassed, I took some toilet paper and that little demon let loose.
RIP Pocket of pus on my nose.
Well, that's not so true anymore. From about 10 weeks on, I've been getting huge white heads on my nose here and there. They're more hysterical than anything, because I literally don't have a single zit anywhere else.
One day I woke up and had 3 right in a row. It looked like Orion's belt standing out in a galaxy of celestial black heads.
Today I woke up and thought I had something hanging from my nose. I kept wiping it away because when I looked down, it looked like white fuzz.
That's when I noticed it started to hurt when I wiped.
I got my just woke up self positioned in front of the mirror (it takes a few moments to work up the courage to see what I'm working with upon waking) and BAM. The largest white head I've ever seen in my life.
Don't believe me?
Isn't she a beaut?
Seriously, I laughed hysterically and then wanted to cry. My entire nose was being sucked in my thise moutainous white head.
I put my hand over my nose and walked over to Josh, who of course, was sitting on the BBC playing Xbox.
"If I show you this, you cannot laugh."
"Of course I won't what is it?"
The unveiling led to laughter in octives I didn't know Josh could hit. He told me not to wince, frown or scruntch my nose because he didn't want to get squirted.
Feeling embarrassed, I took some toilet paper and that little demon let loose.
RIP Pocket of pus on my nose.
Monday, January 10, 2011
16 weeks and 2 days (part 2)
So, allegedly Dr. P got asked to leave the practice with Dr. F? That's what I'm hearing. Hm.
It better not mess with my gender scan appointment on Monday, or I will be hurting people.
I didn't sleep a wink last night. Seriously. I'm running on maybe 15 minutes of sleep.
I have been flopping around like a bass out of water. I'd say whale for obvious size purpose, but they don't do much flopping.
I counted 15 times flipping back and forth in 30 minutes. After readjusting, switching sides with Josh, a body pillow, etc - nothing is cutting it.
At about 3am I finally started to doze off (knowing I had to be awake at 7:45 for preschool). About the time my eyes close, Josh starts munching on imaginary food and facing my way. He's smacking his lips together like he's lived on the streets for years and someones teasing him with a turkey leg.
And I don't know if any of you know Josh or not - but his nickname is fish tank. Why? Because literally, his breath smells like a fish tank that hasn't been cleaned in months. You know that first time when you take the lid off that algea infested poo floating tank and get that 'first whiff'?
Imagine having that to grace me every morning.
So, as he's smacking his mouth together, the smell starts floating over to me. It instantly wakes me up. I sigh, growl, curse and finally I start trying to push his face the opposite direction.
Everytime I'd succeed, he'd turn back around and smack harder. It got to the point where I was pushing as hard as I could to turn him around and yelling at him.
He sleeps like my mom - there is no waking him up.
So now I'm bitchy and my entire room smells like mouth rot. I start getting uncomfortable again and switch back and forth. Finally I decide I need a warm bath to chill me back out.
During the bath (which was soap scum free :) see previous post), I get struck with one of those poop pains. Not the ones where it doubles you over, you have goose bumps, and you are actually at a race against time to hit a toilet, but the one where you know...
You haven't shit in a few days.
I get out of the tub and focus my attention to the continous strain I'm going to have for the next 20 minutes.
Nothing.
Not even a rabbit pellet.
So now I have constipation pains.
Woe is me.
Next thing I know it's time to get Payton up for school. She obviously had the same idea because we couldn't do anything to make her hop out of bed.
I guess the lazy runs strong in this family because I see myself holding down the BBC (which is now broken and has body indentions from Josh's over use) allllll day long.
*insert sinister laugh*
It better not mess with my gender scan appointment on Monday, or I will be hurting people.
I didn't sleep a wink last night. Seriously. I'm running on maybe 15 minutes of sleep.
I have been flopping around like a bass out of water. I'd say whale for obvious size purpose, but they don't do much flopping.
I counted 15 times flipping back and forth in 30 minutes. After readjusting, switching sides with Josh, a body pillow, etc - nothing is cutting it.
At about 3am I finally started to doze off (knowing I had to be awake at 7:45 for preschool). About the time my eyes close, Josh starts munching on imaginary food and facing my way. He's smacking his lips together like he's lived on the streets for years and someones teasing him with a turkey leg.
And I don't know if any of you know Josh or not - but his nickname is fish tank. Why? Because literally, his breath smells like a fish tank that hasn't been cleaned in months. You know that first time when you take the lid off that algea infested poo floating tank and get that 'first whiff'?
Imagine having that to grace me every morning.
So, as he's smacking his mouth together, the smell starts floating over to me. It instantly wakes me up. I sigh, growl, curse and finally I start trying to push his face the opposite direction.
Everytime I'd succeed, he'd turn back around and smack harder. It got to the point where I was pushing as hard as I could to turn him around and yelling at him.
He sleeps like my mom - there is no waking him up.
So now I'm bitchy and my entire room smells like mouth rot. I start getting uncomfortable again and switch back and forth. Finally I decide I need a warm bath to chill me back out.
During the bath (which was soap scum free :) see previous post), I get struck with one of those poop pains. Not the ones where it doubles you over, you have goose bumps, and you are actually at a race against time to hit a toilet, but the one where you know...
You haven't shit in a few days.
I get out of the tub and focus my attention to the continous strain I'm going to have for the next 20 minutes.
Nothing.
Not even a rabbit pellet.
So now I have constipation pains.
Woe is me.
Next thing I know it's time to get Payton up for school. She obviously had the same idea because we couldn't do anything to make her hop out of bed.
I guess the lazy runs strong in this family because I see myself holding down the BBC (which is now broken and has body indentions from Josh's over use) allllll day long.
*insert sinister laugh*
Sunday, January 9, 2011
16 weeks and 2 days
My house smells like a crime scene that's just been cleaned up. For whatever reason, I got into the mood to disinfect the entire house. The bath tub could have a meal ate from the bottom of it and the toilet could be licked.
Seriously. I used bleach.
I also started doing dishes (which is rare - Josh is the bitch in that category) and doing laundry.
Does anyone else feel like they never have any clothes or anything to wear, yet the 14 laundry baskets of dirty clothes accumulated in 1 week tell you otherwise?
Of course my love for over sized t-shirts and sweat pants (huge cotton underwear too) while I'm sitting at home can only produce so many articles of clothing, but damnit, our laundry over takes us.
So at least today I got a head start in gearing this house up for the finish of the remodel.
You know we started putting those f'ing floors in last March and they are STILL not finished?????
I told Josh by June these things will be finished:
- The nursery painted.
- The floors finished (including the bathrooms).
- The cabinets finished (they are being 'antiqued').
- The kitchen painted (goodbye shitty red).
- The bedroom painted.
- The bathroom painted.
- A new vanity in the bathroom installed.
- The cabinet doors put back on our kitchen cabinets.
- A door on the bathroom that will actually lock.
- Ditto for the bedroom door.
- Doors back on our laundry area.
- The front door installed.
- Our new address plate installed.
Now, when I look at this list, I panic. That's because it has taken almost a year for about 400 square foot of floor to be laid down.
Then I look at Josh's step dad, who finished an entire basement, hand built a bar (that looks f'ing fantastic!), hand built a trash container, ordered a sectional, bought a new TV and fire place, put in cabinets, put in counter tops, built a HUGE ASS POLE BARN, put a new floor down in the basement, etc etc etc etc upon etc....
In 4 months.
I'm not trying to toot Josh's horn here, but honk honk - let's get this shit done!!
Seriously. I used bleach.
I also started doing dishes (which is rare - Josh is the bitch in that category) and doing laundry.
Does anyone else feel like they never have any clothes or anything to wear, yet the 14 laundry baskets of dirty clothes accumulated in 1 week tell you otherwise?
Of course my love for over sized t-shirts and sweat pants (huge cotton underwear too) while I'm sitting at home can only produce so many articles of clothing, but damnit, our laundry over takes us.
So at least today I got a head start in gearing this house up for the finish of the remodel.
You know we started putting those f'ing floors in last March and they are STILL not finished?????
I told Josh by June these things will be finished:
- The nursery painted.
- The floors finished (including the bathrooms).
- The cabinets finished (they are being 'antiqued').
- The kitchen painted (goodbye shitty red).
- The bedroom painted.
- The bathroom painted.
- A new vanity in the bathroom installed.
- The cabinet doors put back on our kitchen cabinets.
- A door on the bathroom that will actually lock.
- Ditto for the bedroom door.
- Doors back on our laundry area.
- The front door installed.
- Our new address plate installed.
Now, when I look at this list, I panic. That's because it has taken almost a year for about 400 square foot of floor to be laid down.
Then I look at Josh's step dad, who finished an entire basement, hand built a bar (that looks f'ing fantastic!), hand built a trash container, ordered a sectional, bought a new TV and fire place, put in cabinets, put in counter tops, built a HUGE ASS POLE BARN, put a new floor down in the basement, etc etc etc etc upon etc....
In 4 months.
I'm not trying to toot Josh's horn here, but honk honk - let's get this shit done!!
16 weeks and 1 day
There is no food in this house; and as an obese, that shit isn't going to fly.
I guess I need to find a way to motivate myself to go buy something worth eating. I swear since the oven got fixed, there's not a family in the world that could compete with our consumption of frozen pizzas.
Today was another lazy, migrained day. Not that you should be surprised though. Payton stayed at my moms house last night (which was good, because it was almost 3 weeks of her without a break and I needed a mini vacation from the 1,000 questions - an hour).
We watched the Colts loose, stayed up until about 1am and then slept until 11:30am today.
So most of my day has been wasting away in my bed.
It loves me, so I want to give it the satisfaction of feeling my big body floating around on it.
I feel mildly nauseas today too which is odd. I generally get nauseas when I have a mega migraine. Today my migraine is mild but I've already loaded the bowl with Taco Bell (insert sad face) directly after eating it.
Not sure what that's all about.
I asked Payton to give me a name list for each gender. She really gave it a lot of thought so let me run them by you all real quick:
Boy:
Phineas or Ferb (depends on what shape of his head is.
Kylar
Gashes
Rass
Jason
Dreffey
Gree
Retch
Skylar
Mylor
Jeffy
Jelly
Girl:
Alli
Ava
Righty
Set
Say-may
May
Apple-tize
Saman-toe (which is her favorite FYI)
Catty
Rightlor
So far, Saman-toe Apple-tize and Jeffy Jelly are my favs. We're going for unique. ;)
I guess I need to find a way to motivate myself to go buy something worth eating. I swear since the oven got fixed, there's not a family in the world that could compete with our consumption of frozen pizzas.
Today was another lazy, migrained day. Not that you should be surprised though. Payton stayed at my moms house last night (which was good, because it was almost 3 weeks of her without a break and I needed a mini vacation from the 1,000 questions - an hour).
We watched the Colts loose, stayed up until about 1am and then slept until 11:30am today.
So most of my day has been wasting away in my bed.
It loves me, so I want to give it the satisfaction of feeling my big body floating around on it.
I feel mildly nauseas today too which is odd. I generally get nauseas when I have a mega migraine. Today my migraine is mild but I've already loaded the bowl with Taco Bell (insert sad face) directly after eating it.
Not sure what that's all about.
I asked Payton to give me a name list for each gender. She really gave it a lot of thought so let me run them by you all real quick:
Boy:
Phineas or Ferb (depends on what shape of his head is.
Kylar
Gashes
Rass
Jason
Dreffey
Gree
Retch
Skylar
Mylor
Jeffy
Jelly
Girl:
Alli
Ava
Righty
Set
Say-may
May
Apple-tize
Saman-toe (which is her favorite FYI)
Catty
Rightlor
So far, Saman-toe Apple-tize and Jeffy Jelly are my favs. We're going for unique. ;)
Saturday, January 8, 2011
16 weeks and 0 days
Damnit Colts.
Damnit, damnit, damnit.
After my anxiety attacks and mild heart attacks during the Colts/Jets game tonight, the outcome sure didn't help matters much.
Oh well, I'm drowning my sorrows in Tylenol (yeah another headache, imagine that!) and and a Pizza Palace sub.
There's always next year. Hopefully Bob Sanders will last a few more hours next year. : |
So 16 weeks today, and I'd like to officially confirm that I've been feeling movement. Nothing major and nothing intense, but those awesome little butterfly feelings in the lower part of my stomach.
Maybe it's just the babys way of saying, "Thanks for the awesome menu choices here lately mom. And *%#^ the Jets."
:)
Damnit, damnit, damnit.
After my anxiety attacks and mild heart attacks during the Colts/Jets game tonight, the outcome sure didn't help matters much.
Oh well, I'm drowning my sorrows in Tylenol (yeah another headache, imagine that!) and and a Pizza Palace sub.
There's always next year. Hopefully Bob Sanders will last a few more hours next year. : |
So 16 weeks today, and I'd like to officially confirm that I've been feeling movement. Nothing major and nothing intense, but those awesome little butterfly feelings in the lower part of my stomach.
Maybe it's just the babys way of saying, "Thanks for the awesome menu choices here lately mom. And *%#^ the Jets."
:)
Friday, January 7, 2011
15 weeks and 6 days (part 2)
So.
I signed up for this website that has a pregnancy forum; equipped with birth clubs and all. I did it while pregnant with Payton because I didn't want to ask dumb questions to people I know about what was going on with me. I wanted to ask strangers, so I didn't look like an idiot.
"Did I pee my pants, or did my water break?"
"If I eat 7 soft tacos, will my baby be obese also?"
This time I signed up again as more of an elder (because we all know I have this love to be right and eventually know everything :).
On the site, the ladies post everything from off topic subjects like Oprah and Desperate Housewives, to everything you ever wanted to ask about a vagina and pregnancy.
And gas - there's lots of gas on that forum.
I'm in the "June Board" - because obviously I'm due in June. Since I'm due at the end of June, most mothers are already in their 17-20 week phase and getting gender tests.
Right now the board is blowing up with "IT'S A ???" posts and "OUR NAMES WE PICKED".
So I got a little curious and posted the names that Josh and I were thinking about for our boy since we had 2 different names picked out. (We have 1 first name picked out for a girl, but can't decide on a middle name.)
A lot of moms had polls going. "This name or this name?" So I did.
And I did it because all of the replying posts were "Oh I love that name!" or "What a creative name, that's great!"
So what do I do? I post our 2 names in poll form.
And of course - my replies were far from fucking fairy tales, cotton candy and snowflakes. (My offline cursing is at a minimum, I apologize for my online cursing.)
"He will get made fun of."
"You are setting him up for failure and to be teased."
Says Shatrika (the 18 year old pregnant chick who's profile picture was her in a prom dress with an afro giving the middle finger) and Delilah (who's profile picture was of her overweight ass and her dorky husband in a Walmart type setting with fairy wings and wizard hats).
Yes - I can't make that shit up.
I believe it's how the parents play the role in the kids life whether they will get made fun of or not.
Look at me for instance: my mom pumped me with Big Macs and steaks at 2+ years old.
And who's the fat one that got made fun of and couldn't pass up a 20 piece nugget even if she wanted to?
Bingo.
Surely a name can't make or break a kid. I mean maybe if his name was Gaylord or Penis or Kenneth Master Bates...
Right?
And even Kenneth Master Bates is a cool guy and digs the teasing he takes.
I signed up for this website that has a pregnancy forum; equipped with birth clubs and all. I did it while pregnant with Payton because I didn't want to ask dumb questions to people I know about what was going on with me. I wanted to ask strangers, so I didn't look like an idiot.
"Did I pee my pants, or did my water break?"
"If I eat 7 soft tacos, will my baby be obese also?"
This time I signed up again as more of an elder (because we all know I have this love to be right and eventually know everything :).
On the site, the ladies post everything from off topic subjects like Oprah and Desperate Housewives, to everything you ever wanted to ask about a vagina and pregnancy.
And gas - there's lots of gas on that forum.
I'm in the "June Board" - because obviously I'm due in June. Since I'm due at the end of June, most mothers are already in their 17-20 week phase and getting gender tests.
Right now the board is blowing up with "IT'S A ???" posts and "OUR NAMES WE PICKED".
So I got a little curious and posted the names that Josh and I were thinking about for our boy since we had 2 different names picked out. (We have 1 first name picked out for a girl, but can't decide on a middle name.)
A lot of moms had polls going. "This name or this name?" So I did.
And I did it because all of the replying posts were "Oh I love that name!" or "What a creative name, that's great!"
So what do I do? I post our 2 names in poll form.
And of course - my replies were far from fucking fairy tales, cotton candy and snowflakes. (My offline cursing is at a minimum, I apologize for my online cursing.)
"He will get made fun of."
"You are setting him up for failure and to be teased."
Says Shatrika (the 18 year old pregnant chick who's profile picture was her in a prom dress with an afro giving the middle finger) and Delilah (who's profile picture was of her overweight ass and her dorky husband in a Walmart type setting with fairy wings and wizard hats).
Yes - I can't make that shit up.
I believe it's how the parents play the role in the kids life whether they will get made fun of or not.
Look at me for instance: my mom pumped me with Big Macs and steaks at 2+ years old.
And who's the fat one that got made fun of and couldn't pass up a 20 piece nugget even if she wanted to?
Bingo.
Surely a name can't make or break a kid. I mean maybe if his name was Gaylord or Penis or Kenneth Master Bates...
Right?
And even Kenneth Master Bates is a cool guy and digs the teasing he takes.
15 weeks and 6 days
What a morning.
Would I even call it a morning?
Last night I struggled with another strain of migraines, which kept my overweight body awake until 7:30am. When I finally dozed off, my alarm went off at 7:45am to get Payton ready for school.
I felt like a zombie. Not the "Thriller" type zombie, which was obviously drug induced and very energetic, but the real type of zombie.
The ones buried 6 feet under.
I struggled keeping up with the morning to get Payton ready, but finally did it. Since her preschool is so close to my grandparent's house, I stopped by and tried to catch some zzzs. I did for about an hour and woke up feeling worse.
We played nap time when Payton got home from school. Thank goodness Josh got up early after pulling his third shift last night to give me a break.
I don't give him enough credit for how awesome he really is.
Other than the migraines, this pregnancy hasn't been to shabby. I had a bout with insomnia a few weeks ago, but now you can't keep my whale like appearance awake for more then 4 hours at a time.
And that my friends - is nice.
We only have 10 days until we find out what we're bringing into this crazy household. I'm trying not to psych myself up too much knowing it's a 50/50 shot at a boy. Our luck we'll have 2 drama queens to run this house, and poor Josh will be out hormoned.
Deep down I just pray that it's a healthy baby - but knowing it has a penis would be nice :)
I mean afterall, there are already 6 little girls on Josh's dads side of the family. His mammy and pappy have 6 little great-grand daughters.
I'm a little nervous of how Josh will take it if it's a girl. Obviously he loves Payton more then I could have ever imagined a man loving a little girl, but I know in the back of his mind he wants a little buddy; a little hunting pal, fishing pal and someone to get dirty and rough. (All the things Payton has made very clear that she will try, but will not permanently do.)
He really wants his son.
We picked out our names this week too. On the male side, it's a toss up between 2 first names. On the female side it's a toss up between 2 middle names.
I guess in 10 days we will be revealing 1 set of gender names :)
I bid you farewell for the day. My rice is boiling over. Damnit.
Would I even call it a morning?
Last night I struggled with another strain of migraines, which kept my overweight body awake until 7:30am. When I finally dozed off, my alarm went off at 7:45am to get Payton ready for school.
I felt like a zombie. Not the "Thriller" type zombie, which was obviously drug induced and very energetic, but the real type of zombie.
The ones buried 6 feet under.
I struggled keeping up with the morning to get Payton ready, but finally did it. Since her preschool is so close to my grandparent's house, I stopped by and tried to catch some zzzs. I did for about an hour and woke up feeling worse.
We played nap time when Payton got home from school. Thank goodness Josh got up early after pulling his third shift last night to give me a break.
I don't give him enough credit for how awesome he really is.
Other than the migraines, this pregnancy hasn't been to shabby. I had a bout with insomnia a few weeks ago, but now you can't keep my whale like appearance awake for more then 4 hours at a time.
And that my friends - is nice.
We only have 10 days until we find out what we're bringing into this crazy household. I'm trying not to psych myself up too much knowing it's a 50/50 shot at a boy. Our luck we'll have 2 drama queens to run this house, and poor Josh will be out hormoned.
Deep down I just pray that it's a healthy baby - but knowing it has a penis would be nice :)
I mean afterall, there are already 6 little girls on Josh's dads side of the family. His mammy and pappy have 6 little great-grand daughters.
I'm a little nervous of how Josh will take it if it's a girl. Obviously he loves Payton more then I could have ever imagined a man loving a little girl, but I know in the back of his mind he wants a little buddy; a little hunting pal, fishing pal and someone to get dirty and rough. (All the things Payton has made very clear that she will try, but will not permanently do.)
He really wants his son.
We picked out our names this week too. On the male side, it's a toss up between 2 first names. On the female side it's a toss up between 2 middle names.
I guess in 10 days we will be revealing 1 set of gender names :)
I bid you farewell for the day. My rice is boiling over. Damnit.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
15 weeks and 5 days
Nearly halfway through this pregnancy, and I can't believe my ass didn't create a blog sooner. I seem to always have a need to pump too much information over the world wide web; and surprisingly I didn't do that as early as I should have.
Today I'm 15 weeks and 5 days. It hasn't been much of a stretch for me. I mean hell, for the first 10 weeks I was clueless as to what my obese body was going through. I thought it was just lack of exercise and need for more sugar intake to help the withdraw.
Like I've repeatedly parroted to you before, I was a little shocked to learn Josh and I were having another child. We always discussed we wanted 2-3 children, but we never gave it much of a thought after we had Payton. She seemed to be our grounding we were looking for our of our wild ways into adult hood. We spent all of our time on her that the thought of bringing in another child would be awkward for us.
Not to mention my ovaries have 'FAIL' ettched into them from previous surgeries and complications. As I'm writing this, I'm sitting here with 3/4 of a left ovary. That's it. Not to mention the fact that I have PCOS and a tilted cervix.
So I guess this baby is about as miracle as we're going to see in our lives.
I'm on the fence between excitement, worry and guilt. The excitement is obvious (though it took awhile to find that point), the worry is your basic having 2 children worries and the guilt?
The guilt is because we are afraid of how Payton will adjust going from the only, to the first.
Now, she's always been the sweetest little girl when it comes to babies. She's been super through this one so far. She is afraid to sit on my lap because she doesn't want to "hurt her baby". She makes sure if I fall asleep on the couch to bring me a blanket and stay super quiet. It's her "baby". Listening to her talk about it and proudly announce, "that's my baby!" melts me.
I guess I shouldn't have guilt.
Kate Gosselin should have guilt, but I shouldn't.
As far as "symptoms" throughout this one; it's been pretty easy rolling. I mean I guess since I was clueless almost the entire trimester made the ball go a little smoother, but you know.
I should have tested Oct 17-19th. That's the first period I skipped - but skipping isn't unusual for me since I have these gangster ovaries. I went back on my Facebook (which I am so dearly attatched to, and will update everything from a tooth ache to the consistency of my shit) and checked what I wrote those dates.
I remember it vividly.
I had the "stomach flu".
I was puking, gagging and heaving my guts out for days; literally days. Payton had brought a string home and had it for a few days, but me? I had it for 4 weeks.
Here's your sign.
I've also had really horrendous migraines with this one. The "throbbers" as I call them. The type where you just sit around all day and whine about how miserable you are and hope to God someone has pity on you.
But back to the day I found out -
When November 18th rolled around, which is the day I was exactly 2 months late on my period, I decided what the hell. The Dollar Tree is good to the fertile women of the United States and produces them for $1.
On the way home from a family Thanksgiving with Josh's step side, I swung by the Dollar Tree and grabbed one. Josh went to work, and I went home to dot some piss on this little piece of plastic.
I guess I should have waited until he got home from work to give him the news. Instead? I called his straight line to him at work. He answered in a leisurely, "Yeah?"
"I'M $%#*ING PREGNANT!!?"
..... Silence.
And that's how it became to be.
It's still a little surreal for me. I don't feel pregnant. I do feel small movement every once in awhile and I just keep telling myself, "let one rip".
It's going to take awhile to get used to. I still have about 24 weeks to get used to it I guess. I'm sure I will be discussing mostly food topics on here (because I have a love for that kind of shit) and whining to the max about 'woe is me'. (It gets me brownie points from Josh, and random Taco Bell.)
Thanks for hanging in there for this miserable post.
Today I'm 15 weeks and 5 days. It hasn't been much of a stretch for me. I mean hell, for the first 10 weeks I was clueless as to what my obese body was going through. I thought it was just lack of exercise and need for more sugar intake to help the withdraw.
Like I've repeatedly parroted to you before, I was a little shocked to learn Josh and I were having another child. We always discussed we wanted 2-3 children, but we never gave it much of a thought after we had Payton. She seemed to be our grounding we were looking for our of our wild ways into adult hood. We spent all of our time on her that the thought of bringing in another child would be awkward for us.
Not to mention my ovaries have 'FAIL' ettched into them from previous surgeries and complications. As I'm writing this, I'm sitting here with 3/4 of a left ovary. That's it. Not to mention the fact that I have PCOS and a tilted cervix.
So I guess this baby is about as miracle as we're going to see in our lives.
I'm on the fence between excitement, worry and guilt. The excitement is obvious (though it took awhile to find that point), the worry is your basic having 2 children worries and the guilt?
The guilt is because we are afraid of how Payton will adjust going from the only, to the first.
Now, she's always been the sweetest little girl when it comes to babies. She's been super through this one so far. She is afraid to sit on my lap because she doesn't want to "hurt her baby". She makes sure if I fall asleep on the couch to bring me a blanket and stay super quiet. It's her "baby". Listening to her talk about it and proudly announce, "that's my baby!" melts me.
I guess I shouldn't have guilt.
Kate Gosselin should have guilt, but I shouldn't.
As far as "symptoms" throughout this one; it's been pretty easy rolling. I mean I guess since I was clueless almost the entire trimester made the ball go a little smoother, but you know.
I should have tested Oct 17-19th. That's the first period I skipped - but skipping isn't unusual for me since I have these gangster ovaries. I went back on my Facebook (which I am so dearly attatched to, and will update everything from a tooth ache to the consistency of my shit) and checked what I wrote those dates.
I remember it vividly.
I had the "stomach flu".
I was puking, gagging and heaving my guts out for days; literally days. Payton had brought a string home and had it for a few days, but me? I had it for 4 weeks.
Here's your sign.
I've also had really horrendous migraines with this one. The "throbbers" as I call them. The type where you just sit around all day and whine about how miserable you are and hope to God someone has pity on you.
But back to the day I found out -
When November 18th rolled around, which is the day I was exactly 2 months late on my period, I decided what the hell. The Dollar Tree is good to the fertile women of the United States and produces them for $1.
On the way home from a family Thanksgiving with Josh's step side, I swung by the Dollar Tree and grabbed one. Josh went to work, and I went home to dot some piss on this little piece of plastic.
I guess I should have waited until he got home from work to give him the news. Instead? I called his straight line to him at work. He answered in a leisurely, "Yeah?"
"I'M $%#*ING PREGNANT!!?"
..... Silence.
And that's how it became to be.
It's still a little surreal for me. I don't feel pregnant. I do feel small movement every once in awhile and I just keep telling myself, "let one rip".
It's going to take awhile to get used to. I still have about 24 weeks to get used to it I guess. I'm sure I will be discussing mostly food topics on here (because I have a love for that kind of shit) and whining to the max about 'woe is me'. (It gets me brownie points from Josh, and random Taco Bell.)
Thanks for hanging in there for this miserable post.
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