19 weeks

I'm cheating. I really should write 18 weeks and 6 days, but since it's after midnight...

:)

I'm plagued with a head cold. It's not bad and I don't feel miserable, I just have enough mucus to drown a submarine. I wake up in the morning and it's like a trombone blowing shots of yellow love into the kleenex.

And if that doesn't sound sexy enough, imagine me waking up and for the first half an hour of the day doing nothing but extracting big juicy yellow phglem/hockers from my throat.

Those suckers are huge!

Just wish it would find someone else to move along to, I'm tired of this early morning routine. It already takes me well into an hour to get myself going, I don't need something else (especially that disgusting) dragging me down.

So - I got my tax check! I'm pumped. I hate the fact that I know it's gone. I've got a few things I need to pay for (finish paying off my camera, the xbox and our floors) and then the rest is history.

I am going to let everyone in on a little secret - but if you know me you know I have no secrets or shame so I don't really give a shit unlike most who would try to hide it.

When I left my last job, I had still been going through drama with my medical bills. I had insurance, granted it wasn't good, but when the new insurance SHOULD have started (right when all of my gallbladder/GERD/IBS problems started) it didn't.

It wasn't my fault - it was my jobs fault. The same people who I had to call at least 10 times to tell them I ALWAYS get extra money taken out for federal taxes and they still never did anything about it.

I submitted my insurance forms, and I thought it was odd that I never had a new insurance card. I wound up calling the place and they had no record of me under their insurance. I couldn't enroll any longer because re-enrollment was up.

So I was completely ass fucked by my own job and there was absolutely nothing I could do. I went around and around with HR and it was done.

And I don't know if any of you don't have insurance and have had things like surgeries, blood work, etc through all of it - but it's expensive.

I'm talking like $60,000 expensive.

Of course I can't make the minimum payments of like $5495034903 dollars a month (do I look like Paris Hilton?) so I submitted minimal payments to them, but I guess that wasn't enough.

So to make a long story short, I'm into collections, and then finally a court hearing. I stopped paying period because I was pissed off. There was no way I was paying back 60 grand over this shit.

So now, I'm filing bankruptcy.

And do you know it costs $850 for a 5 minute hospital lab visit to have blood drawn?

I didn't either.

So the sheriff who showed up at my door (twice), Schneck Medical Center, my previous place of employment and the lady from HR who I'd like to beat to a pulp, can all kiss my fat, white, unmotivated ass.

Enough of that story, let me move on to something else that has been stressing me out:

Josh calls me last night and tells me he is being displaced. When I ask what the hell that means, he tells me that his shift at work is ending in 3 weeks (which has been a shift there for 15 years).

By seniority, they will place the people from his shift around other areas. If there aren't any jobs left after placing people, the ones that are left at the bottom are basically gone.

I asked Josh if he will still have a job and he says, "I believe so."

So that's never reassuring, especially since he is the bread winner of the house. If we didn't have his income we'd be living in the Silver House apartments behind KFC.

I guess there is a guy there who has been there for 13 years and he's #11 on seniority.

This is scaring me quite a bit.

Josh thinks he will have to go to the shift that works Tuesday-Friday from 4pm to 2am. I really loved his weekend shifts because during the week it was a team effort to take and pick up Payton from school.

Now I'm going to have to get her going to kindergarten with a newborn every morning.

And after I have this baby, I need to find a good job. I'm tired of living off of Josh and what I do on the side. It's ridiculous. So it's going to be really hard for us.

My mom is being displaced too and she has an office job there. Sadly, she can't do much physical labor so her being displaced probably means she needs to look for another job. She was weekend shift as well and watched Payton for us during the week when I worked or needed her. She was free of charge and the only person I trust.

Now I have no one :(

I have a really bad trust problem with day cares and sitters, and will never use one. There is no specific reason, other than I will never trust my child with anyone unless I know them 100% (family).

*sigh*

I just hope it all winds up working out.

Where's a donut when I need one?