16 weeks and 2 days (part 2)

So, allegedly Dr. P got asked to leave the practice with Dr. F? That's what I'm hearing. Hm.

It better not mess with my gender scan appointment on Monday, or I will be hurting people.

I didn't sleep a wink last night. Seriously. I'm running on maybe 15 minutes of sleep.

I have been flopping around like a bass out of water. I'd say whale for obvious size purpose, but they don't do much flopping.

I counted 15 times flipping back and forth in 30 minutes. After readjusting, switching sides with Josh, a body pillow, etc - nothing is cutting it.

At about 3am I finally started to doze off (knowing I had to be awake at 7:45 for preschool). About the time my eyes close, Josh starts munching on imaginary food and facing my way. He's smacking his lips together like he's lived on the streets for years and someones teasing him with a turkey leg.

And I don't know if any of you know Josh or not - but his nickname is fish tank. Why? Because literally, his breath smells like a fish tank that hasn't been cleaned in months. You know that first time when you take the lid off that algea infested poo floating tank and get that 'first whiff'?

Imagine having that to grace me every morning.

So, as he's smacking his mouth together, the smell starts floating over to me. It instantly wakes me up. I sigh, growl, curse and finally I start trying to push his face the opposite direction.

Everytime I'd succeed, he'd turn back around and smack harder. It got to the point where I was pushing as hard as I could to turn him around and yelling at him.

He sleeps like my mom - there is no waking him up.

So now I'm bitchy and my entire room smells like mouth rot. I start getting uncomfortable again and switch back and forth. Finally I decide I need a warm bath to chill me back out.

During the bath (which was soap scum free :) see previous post), I get struck with one of those poop pains. Not the ones where it doubles you over, you have goose bumps, and you are actually at a race against time to hit a toilet, but the one where you know...

You haven't shit in a few days.

I get out of the tub and focus my attention to the continous strain I'm going to have for the next 20 minutes.

Nothing.

Not even a rabbit pellet.

So now I have constipation pains.

Woe is me.

Next thing I know it's time to get Payton up for school. She obviously had the same idea because we couldn't do anything to make her hop out of bed.

I guess the lazy runs strong in this family because I see myself holding down the BBC (which is now broken and has body indentions from Josh's over use) allllll day long.

*insert sinister laugh*